suspectclass (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
suspectclass) wrote2002-04-29 03:14 pm
suspectclass) wrote2002-04-29 03:14 pm
That didn't turn out the way I planned at all!
I am in a foul mood. Foul foul foul.
I am busy, I am stressed out. This is how it always is at the end of the year. I'm running around trying to get everything done, and I know that something's going to give, and what it will be. As always, I will leave the requisite Important-thing-that-I-must-have (or two) in Chicago, but more importantly, I will miss out on seeing people I want to see. I've realized that I have two weekends left before I leave. This upcoming one will be spent studying for finals, and the one after that will be spent packing and getting presents, if I haven't by that point. Honestly, I usually prefer to just go away and not look back, especially because more and more when I leave I'm leaving not for the gulag of my father's house, but for someplace I would rather be. In 18 days I'm moving in with my best friend, the woman of my dreams, and no matter how much I will miss my friends, we all have our own lives and mine is with her. There's part of me that feels odd about saying that. For one thing, juvenile sayings aside, aren't you supposed to put your friends before your lovers? I've realized, however, that this theory assumes that lovers are transient and friends aren't. My experience however, taught me that all relationships are relatively transient, but I have a few [very few] relationships in my life which have reached the level where I can give them a position of more permant importance, and Holly is most certainly on that list.
I believe that there are very few people in this life with whom you can have serious conflict, and then be able to solve it, coming out with a stronger bond than before. Despite Hollywood's vision of pain as a unifying element, generally when you fall apart, the people in your life are of little use. To find someone who can take care of me at my lowest points, and who will let me do the same is more of a blessing than I ever could have hoped for-a fact which becomes more and more clear to me all the time. I don't know what I will/would do when/if I lose her, but I'm not going to worry about that right now. Hopefully I won't have to for a long time.
Suddenly I'm not feeling quite so bad.
[ed note] The network went down as I was writing this, so I had to wait to post it. Clearly it is up again. What a relief! I almost thought I'd have to work!
I am busy, I am stressed out. This is how it always is at the end of the year. I'm running around trying to get everything done, and I know that something's going to give, and what it will be. As always, I will leave the requisite Important-thing-that-I-must-have (or two) in Chicago, but more importantly, I will miss out on seeing people I want to see. I've realized that I have two weekends left before I leave. This upcoming one will be spent studying for finals, and the one after that will be spent packing and getting presents, if I haven't by that point. Honestly, I usually prefer to just go away and not look back, especially because more and more when I leave I'm leaving not for the gulag of my father's house, but for someplace I would rather be. In 18 days I'm moving in with my best friend, the woman of my dreams, and no matter how much I will miss my friends, we all have our own lives and mine is with her. There's part of me that feels odd about saying that. For one thing, juvenile sayings aside, aren't you supposed to put your friends before your lovers? I've realized, however, that this theory assumes that lovers are transient and friends aren't. My experience however, taught me that all relationships are relatively transient, but I have a few [very few] relationships in my life which have reached the level where I can give them a position of more permant importance, and Holly is most certainly on that list.
I believe that there are very few people in this life with whom you can have serious conflict, and then be able to solve it, coming out with a stronger bond than before. Despite Hollywood's vision of pain as a unifying element, generally when you fall apart, the people in your life are of little use. To find someone who can take care of me at my lowest points, and who will let me do the same is more of a blessing than I ever could have hoped for-a fact which becomes more and more clear to me all the time. I don't know what I will/would do when/if I lose her, but I'm not going to worry about that right now. Hopefully I won't have to for a long time.
Suddenly I'm not feeling quite so bad.
[ed note] The network went down as I was writing this, so I had to wait to post it. Clearly it is up again. What a relief! I almost thought I'd have to work!
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i hope your mood continues to improve. :)
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i hope your summer is amazing, and we'll keep in touch.
::hug::
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xoxo.a
I don't think one has to come before the other