(no subject)

Back. Exhausted. Must go peel contacts out and then sleep. My favorite "new" relative is my cousin (step-cousin?) who used to be a punk ass who dunked us all in the pond, and is now a Marine. I think he and his 20yr old wife were the only ones who thought I might be upset as well (or maybe just that I had reason). Of course it's all from percieved attitudes, but hey, that's probably more accurate than anything anyone would have said to me. He and his wife are going to be in Chicago soon and Boston this summer, so we exchanged info.

I know they're narrow minded and not fond of queers, but it was my dad's house, so I was as queer as I wanna be, and Dad didn't bat an eye. Holly and I may go out there for his and Diana's birthday in May. My sisters and I are working on getting him to bring them to Boston this summer.

Those are the highlights. Oh! And Gail's big brother (the straight one) talked to me about Ferron, Catie Curtis, Dar Williams and the Indigo Girls. He gave me a Ferron cd and we talked about Gail's days as a rock star.

[Insert trite observance on finality of death here]

Angst angst angst.

Random crying walking home from the bus stop.

Over the top rage at everyone who didn't get the fuck out of my way (in the loop and on the CTA that's pretty much everyone).

Fury at my stupid Macrosuckinomics professor for being stupid.

Exhaustion.

I want to curl up into a little ball and go numb. But instead I must study for my midterm and go to work tomorrow and clean my room for Holly and refrain from destroying [valuable] things.

And I must try to remember not to talk to my mom no matter what she says.

I.will.not.give.in.to.depression.