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I made a vow a little while back to get to bed by eleven Sunday thruogh Thursday nights, and i haven't been very good about keeping it. I caught up over the weekend, but now I'm tired again. le sigh. I guess I should learn, eh?

I don't feel like I write very good entries, and I think it's because they're mostly fairly stream of conciousness. That's always been the problem with my writing-no discipline. I don't stay on topic, and when I'm done, I just stop--much like how I deal with the rest of my life. Either no real conclusion is reached, or the damn thing draws out until I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore. I suppose that's something I should work on. Oh hell. Did I mention that I'm boring myself with my entries lately? I'm off to finish getting ready for work, more if I suddenly become interesting later today.

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So long, farewell

My dates are set!

May 9-Last day of school
May 10-last day of work
May 14-To California
May 16-Back in Chicago
May 17-To Boston
May 18-Smith Commencement

Chicago people--we should have a get together. Nookies? Something else? If we go to Nookie's, we should not try to fit all of us into that little booth again. ::shudder::

This is the skin it's in

Dear Russian Co-worker,

Please do not sing. Even though I do not understand the words, it still annoys me. Really, think about it, how would you like to have something you don't understand stuck in your head?

Dear Crerar kd lang,

Thank you for living in the library while I worked there summer after my senior year. Thank you also for checking me out and smiling at me every day. Thank you for coming to GenderFuck Saturday and meeting me, and affirming that that *was* you and telling me I'm cute. I like the validation from really smart older women. Thank you also for being nice and not sleazy. You and your girlfriend/friend were really adorable. I heart geeks.

Dear girlfriend/friend of Crerar kd lang,

Thank you for recognizing the signifigance of the silent "h"

Dear cute girls I made vague plans to hang out with,

I hope we actually do hang out and that you don't blow me off. That would really suck, especially since (even though you're really cute) I actually just want to have coffee and talk. Even if I *were* available and interested it would suck, but please don't aquaintence-ditch me. Despite Crerar kd lang's affirmation and your combined flirting, my ego really isn't as big as I make it seem.

Dear Coffee,

bless you.

Dear Ani,

I take back at least some of the things I said about you, I really really like this album. How is it possible that you are not bringing back all sorts of uncomfortable memories? Whatever the reason, I am immeasurably grateful.

Dear Shy Butch,

You looked really cute, the wig *is* the essential part of the femme drag. You seemed totally different, I don't know if it was the neon green wig, the atmosphere, or if you had been drinking too, but you definitely pulled the whole off well. I was very impressed with your bravery and legs. [I'm not dirty, I swear].

Dear Dad,

I'm sick of whining about you. I know that in a lot of ways you can't help it. [well I'd like to stop, but my fist is already in the air] That doesn't mean it's okay, I just will try to stop expecting things from you [except money and presents, of course]. If my presence in your life means anything to you, you have until Diana and Helen move out to shape up. Seven years (on top of the last 13) is more than a lot of people get. Make good use of it.

Dear Diana and Helen,

Maybe someday you'll know how much you mean to me. I hope so. I hope you don't find out because I guilt trip you, there's already too much of that going on.

Dear Gail,

I'm trying not to be bitter, but it's really hard. Did you make peace with your life? Did you know you were going earlier than the 24 hours beforehand that Dad seemed to have had? Did you forgive my dad for me? Did you need me to forgive you? I'm trying, but I don't know if I'll ever fully understand why you treated me the way you did.

Through sickness and health can I love more?

Today I called the Drag Czarina (a shrink a friend recommended) re: anti-anxiety stuff. True to form, I left a ridiculous message. I tried to call the dentist, really I did, but they had me on hold forever. I'm thinking it'd be easier to *walk* the 7 blocks and just make an appointment in person. ::dramatic flair:: I also made an appointment to get poked and pap smeared by a perfect stranger, and then called The O to change our appointment that was supposed to be the day that will now be Poke and Smear Day. I also ate the last of the Rocky Road ice cream, because I am an inconsiderate person. Hah.

Hey, and isn't today Earth Day? Why no mention from the crunchy and fruity on my friends list?

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Update: I now have an appointment to get scraped and polished on Wednesday, and have successfully juggled The O and the poking and smearing.

::endzone dance::

Ew. Doctors. ::covers self::