(no subject)

[suspectclass]

My summer work plans have fallen through. I may have some freelance work at $10/hour, but that's not nearly enough. The other Sarah and I are at Sweetmate's house, and we're going to the nearby college town soon to find wireless internet access so that I can send off resumes like crazy. I'm now willing to leave Chicago at any point that I can afford it to go where I can get a job. Because really, it's only worth it to stay home if I'm making money. If I can make money somewhere else, and find the dough to scrape together to get an apartment, I think that's financially better. Even if my expenses are fewer in Indiana, there are still expenses that I can only afford if I have a job. Fuck. I was so stressed about this last night and this morning that I was laying awake in bed freaking out. I ended up just going to the other room and reading Dostoyevsky to make myself fall asleep. I was not pleased with my summer plans, but at least I was going to be making money. Now nothing. I'm really worried that I'm going to have to get a job in Indiana to work and I just don't think I can take that. I guess the first week I'm back I'll be all over Chicago trying to get some sort of work somewhere so I can support myself. Starbucks anyone? I have some money from graduation for this roadtrip, but now even that is stressing me out because I don't have anything going on when I get back. I definitely need to get to town and start on the applying. T. from the student activities office was kind enough to send me RCFOS's charter again on email so that I can use it to apply for the Catholics for a Free Choice job. There are also a few paid summer internships in DC that are still taking apps, and the other Sarah suggested that I contact my state reps and/or reps that take positions against defensive marriage legislation and other things I'm interested in and apply for internships with them. So that sounded good. I can see that this is going to be my week, but hopefully something will come of it. I'm so frustrated -- I managed to stave off the "I'm graduating and don't know what I'm doing next year" freak out by consoling myself with summer work, but now that's fallen through. I feel really stupid for depending on this, and it has hardened my resolve not to apply for the fall position with them. I need to move on, and I'll just look at this as a cosmic message, kicking me in the ass to get away from chicago.