Up the elevator of your heart I've been shafted.

Dear Johnny Cash,

How could I have been so foolish for so long? Why do I not have all of your albums? You sing wonderfully, tell dirty jokes on your live at fulsom prison album, and you have wonderful taste in clothes. I pledge that I will purchase many of your CDs, and get some George Jones and Willie Nelson to keep you company. My girlfriend really likes you, I hope she'll continue thinking my new obsession is cute and not hide my country music this summer.

Sincerely, The Dyke in Black

ps, will you be my baby daddy?

(no subject)

Dear Up,

Uh, thanks for the girfriend, and the friends and the school and stuff. I really do appreciate it (if you're up there).

In other news, I'm still mad about a bunch of stuff, I'm not sure we're on speaking terms totally here. That whole step-mom thing was pretty fucking lame. Not to mention the whole Dad thing. And The Creature. I haven't forgotten that one, either

Yes, I just said fucking. If you can watch me do it, I think I can say it. So there.

Sarah