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My boyfriend is set to receive a small inheritance within the next month or so. We're not sure of the exact amount since its coming from a house sale and closing costs, funeral expenses and taxes are all unknown factors, but it should be around $25,000-$30,000.
The bulk of this money is going to go towards paying off his credit card debt, which is a whopping $15,000. This was mostly accumulated a few years ago when the company he was working at went under and he was left jobless for a few months. But the debt has grown since then because, well, he has a tendancy to buy what he wants when he wants it. This is very different from my relationship with money-I tend to put off purchases and need to have a "rainy day" fund in the bank.
here's my conundrum: Is it my place to say anything about what he does with the rest of the money? On one hand, we've been living together for about 7-8 months and although we're not officially engaged, marriage is spoken of between us as an inevitability. But on the other, we _aren't_ married, so it is still just his money. He's not some completely irresponsible guy or anything, but he might spend the money without realizing it, and then its all gone. Right now I manage the bills in the house because he has a tendancy to forget about them.
What I want is for him to put some of the money away, either in investments or savings, where he won't be tempted to spend it. But I'm not sure how much of a right I have to an opinion here. Any thoughts?
I can't help it, I read the Smith Alumnae Forum. Someone posted today asking about advising her boyfriend to invest part of some windfall money he's getting. Two people have responded to this, both women married to men, who said that because the poster is not married to her boyfriend, she can't say anything to him about his money. Maybe if it comes up in casual conversation she can mention IRAs or something.
What? What is this? How do two people who live together in a committed relationship and share expenses not have any leeway to talk about finances and spending habits just because they don't have a legal contract? Is this that whole "I can't get married so I don't realize that people actually use it as an arbiter of commitment" thing?
The bulk of this money is going to go towards paying off his credit card debt, which is a whopping $15,000. This was mostly accumulated a few years ago when the company he was working at went under and he was left jobless for a few months. But the debt has grown since then because, well, he has a tendancy to buy what he wants when he wants it. This is very different from my relationship with money-I tend to put off purchases and need to have a "rainy day" fund in the bank.
here's my conundrum: Is it my place to say anything about what he does with the rest of the money? On one hand, we've been living together for about 7-8 months and although we're not officially engaged, marriage is spoken of between us as an inevitability. But on the other, we _aren't_ married, so it is still just his money. He's not some completely irresponsible guy or anything, but he might spend the money without realizing it, and then its all gone. Right now I manage the bills in the house because he has a tendancy to forget about them.
What I want is for him to put some of the money away, either in investments or savings, where he won't be tempted to spend it. But I'm not sure how much of a right I have to an opinion here. Any thoughts?
I can't help it, I read the Smith Alumnae Forum. Someone posted today asking about advising her boyfriend to invest part of some windfall money he's getting. Two people have responded to this, both women married to men, who said that because the poster is not married to her boyfriend, she can't say anything to him about his money. Maybe if it comes up in casual conversation she can mention IRAs or something.
What? What is this? How do two people who live together in a committed relationship and share expenses not have any leeway to talk about finances and spending habits just because they don't have a legal contract? Is this that whole "I can't get married so I don't realize that people actually use it as an arbiter of commitment" thing?
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Man, being a smith alum means getting to shake your head and be glad you're done. And glad of what you avoided while there.